Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Relationships & Radical Freedom?

Yes! Absolutely! Relationships is one of the easiest, yes I said easiest places to see almost immediate changes from using the Law of Attraction! People in general respond really quickly because the thing about people is that; they ALL want to feel good, really, even if it doesn't seem like that by what they say and do. And.... they ALL want to be looked at with kind loving eyes, even if it doesn't seem like it by what they say and do! That said; they can tell, no matter what words your mouth is saying, how you really feel about them, ALWAYS, no exceptions! And YOU can't attract what you are NOT a match to! So.... you ALWAYS get back what you put out; again, NO EXCEPTIONS!

Now can you understand why when you are saying to your boyfriend "sweetie, it would be really nice if you helped out around the house", you are getting back defensiveness, arguments or totally ignoring you"? You are saying nice words, but.... you are thinking/feeling; "you never do anything around here, I have to do everything...blah, blah, blah! And they FEEL that, so of course you are getting that back!

So the first order of business is to acknowledge what you are really feeling so that you own up to your power here, because YOU did create it! If YOU didn't feel the way YOU did, YOU couldn't have this person here acting this way! And PLEASE, NO self-recrimination or blame, does no good except keep you feeling bad which does not get you what you want! You did create it, but heck, you're only human and most of society would feel just the way you do. So give yourself a break, stay off the blame train, and decide that it's really cool that you KNOW you created it and now you can create something else more in line with what you've just decided you want!

So then what? Well, then of course, you start thinking of this person in a way that feels better so that when you see them, they feel that. And they WILL feel it,almost right away! Take it from me, I've had some really hard cases in my life, lol! They won't know what changed but they will know that all of a sudden they just feel better around you, and will act accordingly.

But there's a few catches, there's always some, right? You have to be happy with the small changes that happen at first. You are not going to get to China in an hour, and in the same way, you are not going to go from agony to ecstasy in one fell swoop! See, I think we all have these visions or ideas of what we want in a relationship, any relationship, and when we see that it doesn't measure up all the way, we get upset and then start noticing all the ways in which it doesn't measure up, instead of looking for, and celebrating all the ways in which it does. Instead of celebrating the fact that we did attract at least some of what we wanted in this person in some important ways, and that we are learning so so much about REAL unconditional love we despair over the thought that they are not "exactly" what we want. But... and a big but here, are YOU exactly a match to what YOU are looking for?! Now there's a place for some extended self reflection and curiosity, huh?

And the other catch is; you can't care if THEY change! It's got to be enough that YOU feel better about them! We are NOT looking to change anybody else, can't do that, can't create in someone elses reality, remember?! We are ONLY trying to feel better right where we are, just the way things are, by our amazingly powerful ability to focus where WE choose! Exercise your power of FOCUS! This is a biggie people! The best of us get stuck in this one..... so you say "but I've been doing my positive aspects every day and they are stiiiilll acting like that", well, it's because you keep looking at what they are doing that you don't like, to "check" to see if it is changing. But you're stiiiilll looking! You've got to get grounded in the "good" before you start looking for the changes and chances are the changes will look for you!

One more thing about relationships that you ought to know: You could just decide to leave the person because that "feels" the best to do at the time but..... another BIG but, if you don't want to attract another person with similar qualities, you have GOT to feel better about the person you are leaving! No exceptions with this one either, we all know people(and of course WE can see what they can't), that keep attracting same person, different face and going through the same old turmoil over and over til we get sick of hearing them! It's because they haven't changed the vibration in THEM and..... "wherever YOU go, there YOU are"! And don't worry, you won't be keeping them around by feeling better about them, you WILL be aligning with what YOU WANT in a relationship by "feeling" how you would feel if you were in a happy relationship and then.... you can't help but attract a happy relationship, and... who knows it, could end up being with them!

So just get happy about them right now, right where you are, and celebrate all the little things you like about them, and all the little progress being made. And if you don't like anything about them, then as my friend Susan would say, celebrate that it "could be a LOT worse", because if you feel the least bit of relief from a thought, no matter what that thought is, YOU'VE made progress!

Things to remember:
And as I said before..... This is REALLY GOOD news!

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